(Note: This is my speech at my sister's wedding.)
Love transcends gender, race, and even species. That was what our late mother has told us. And definitely today, we are celebrating that love, through the union of Marlon and Arielle.
Some people would say that marriage is just a piece of paper, but I think it is more than that. It takes commitment, it takes acceptance, it takes responsibilities, it takes patience, it takes forgiveness, and of course most of all, it takes love. Because there is no commitment if there is no love. There is no acceptance if there is no love.
Yet, love is a choice.
Maybe you would argue that there are times that we cannot dictate our heart as to whom it should love but I think that only happens in movies. Yes, we may fall head over feet with someone. We go crazy for them, our decisions become illogical to the point that our families and friends will even label us as pathetic. Indeed, sometimes, we are blinded by that overwhelming feeling, but I think there is nothing wrong with that. Perhaps, we are just experiencing what they call as unconditional love wherein even with our partner’s darkest faults, we still love them.
Unfortunately, that feeling of love slowly dissipates. As you grow older together, as you stay together longer, slowly you begin to see things that you don’t like with your partner. Dislikes, perhaps, would accumulate and become hatred, then maybe regrets. However, that only happens when we no longer choose to love, because love is a conscious choice. It takes a spark to fall in love, but it takes a choice to keep that fire burning. For the new Mr. and Mrs. Narisma, may you never get tired of choosing to love one another! Cheers to the newly wed!
Namaste.
There was one question that didn’t make it to my list of life's Q&A. I once compiled a few questions which relate to life in general (to read it, click here). Sometimes, even my friends keep on telling me that I am too serious and should stop searching for answers because it might just be distracting me from enjoying life itself. (Un)fortunately, that is my personality. I always try to find the answers to life's mysteries which hopefully will satisfy my curious mind. It seems to help me though in understanding more of our purpose and the reason of our existence, and in turn allows me to live my life to the fullest. I hope.
The question is,
"What created the Universe? What started everything?"
Perhaps, you have asked this question too, and I am not sure if you have found the answer. If you did, please do share your thoughts. Or maybe, you are already contented of not knowing it at all and accepted the fact that the beginning of everything is and will always be a mystery. However, with how my thought process works, I am still not contented with not being able to find the answer.
Though I have already written my insights about the origin through the Alternative Story of Creation blog, it is still difficult for me to grasp the idea of a beginning-less time, until I had to sit down and meditate on 'existence' during our Introduction to Buddhism course at Tushita. Perhaps it was an epiphany for me but it is still not easy to explain it in words on how I was able to find "peace" in the answer. Nevertheless, I will try to explain.
In order for me to understand the concept of a beginning-less time, I have to learn first the reason why things exist. Things are created or will begin to exist because of what Buddhists call Pratītyasamutpāda, commonly translated as 'Dependent Arising'. This means that all things arise in dependence upon multiple causes and conditions. There are three levels of dependent arising:
a) Dependence on causes and conditions: For example, a tropical storm begins to form because of the area's condition – low pressure area.
b) Dependence on parts: A car becomes a car because of the parts the comprise it. If you dismantle all its components, will you still call it a car?
c) Dependence on conceptual designation/imputation. A t-shirt on its own side is not a t-shirt. It's just a piece of textile. It only becomes a t-shirt when we apply the label and the concept of the t-shirt of which to clothe ones body.
Knowing these allows me to realize that nothing exists that is not dependent of anything. Therefore, things exist because of interdependence. Dependent arising allows creation to happen. Without dependent arising, nothing is created, nothing will exist.
Even in our thoughts we create illusions which usually lead us to suffering. Imagine a Lamborghini car. We build our concept/projection around it that having a Lamborghini makes us a better individual. It bloats our ego. We feel we are above the rest when we are owning it. And if we are not able to have it, or somehow lost it, we tend to "suffer". These are mental projections that are not real. That are not intrinsic properties of the car. However, the car remains a car used to move people and things around. The car exists because of a) the combination of parts that make up the car; b) by the conditions that allow it to exist; c) by the imputation or designation of purpose. Yet, if we take the dependents that arise, the car will no longer exist.
However, before dependents arise, there is that "pureness" that "suchness" that is there, that which is clear and knowing. This is very tricky now since even the words "clear" and "knowing" may become words "created" that which describes that "pureness" that is beyond dependent arising. Let us put it an analogy. This might not be a perfect analogy, but I think it might be a close one.
Imagine a canvass. Once you begin painting on the canvass, you are actually starting to create. The colors, the shades, then begin to "exist". Yet, the canvass is always there. That is the "pureness" that "suchness" before any existence.
You can also visualize a blue sky. It is there. It is pure. No labels. But imagine clouds forming out from that blue sky when we start using labels. We'll try to label a cloud "Happiness". Yet "Happiness" will only exist if there is "Sadness", so there should be another cloud labelled "Sadness". Just like a perceiver, it only exists when there is something perceived. "Happiness" only exists when there is "Sadness". They exist because they are interdependent. Yet, these clouds are not the blue sky. Yet we know that there is that "suchness" which is not the "feeling", the "emotions", the "happiness", the "sadness". It is the blue sky. It is that canvass. That "suchness" is what Buddhists call the "emptiness" – this is the "formless", the "pureness", empty of existence. And because that "emptiness" does not exist, then it has not been created, therefore it is beginning – less.
I am not really sure if I have explained this well, but I am able to find peace and contentment in this answer. I just hope that you'll find your answer too.
"Whatever beliefs you have for yourself, if it works for you, then choose it."
Namaste.
It was past midnight when Air India Express flight IX92 bound for Amritsar Airport (ATQ: Sri Guru Ram Das Jee International Airport) was about to take off when a passenger at the back of my seat screamed which sounded like a pre-cursor to a suicide bombing. Too much terrorist movies for me I guess but it totally scared the hell out of me. Even the person next to me freaked out a bit. I asked my seat mate to tell me what was the guy saying, he said it was sort of like 'To God be the glory' kinda stuff. Maybe that was his way of wishing everyone to have a safe flight. When the the plane landed at at around 4AM, the same guy shouted again and the whole plane answered in unison. Perhaps thankful that we arrived in one piece.
Vipul was the driver who picked me up at the airport. I think he is in his late twenties, married with no kids. He has been living in Dharamsala since birth. He works for the travel agency I've hired for the the trip. He has been picking up tourists/clients all over India.
It was still dark when we left the airport. It was a 6-hour trip contrary to what I have been told which is for only 3 hours. My balls were literally shrinking the whole trip. He drove fast against high beam headlights from the opposite traffic. I was even wondering how he can see the road as he sometimes swerves away from pot holes at 100km/hour. And that is just half way of the trip. When we were already in the mountains on our way to McLeod Ganj, the roads were very narrow at the edge of a cliff, and in fact a two way road where two cars (and sometimes trucks) can barely fit. Not to mention quick overtakes on a blind curve. I even kept on chanting my mantra of 'grant us safety o lord'. To top it all, it was raining hard. Perhaps, that was another encounter of fear yet it was definitely worth it specially when I arrived at Hotel Dev Cottage.
The room was huge and the balcony view was awesome! Since it is almost 2000 km above sea level and with lot's of (pine) trees, it was pretty cold. Good thing I brought jackets with me. I stayed for the night before heading to Tushita.
Tushita, a sister center of the Kopan Monastery in Kathmandu - Nepal, was built in 1972 to serve as a retreat center. It has been more than 3 years that I have postponed this trip due to work responsibilities. And I am very much happy that I decided to push through with it this year.
I have never been exposed to Buddhism that much considering that I come from the Philippines, which is largely a Catholic nation. However, I recently discovered that my philosophy and beliefs in life are more or less inclined to Buddhism. Hence, the reason why I decided to get a closer look about Buddhism.
Tushita offers several courses all over the year and one of the famous courses they have is the 10-Day Introduction to Buddhism. The course easily gets filled up so I decided to register few months early. Just to give you an overview of the course as well as the center itself, here are some tidbits of information.
The Retreat Setting
This is a silent retreat which means that all the participants are not allowed to talk to anyone even to your partner. The purpose is to focus more on yourself, that you become more introspective. This is also good since it removes your social obligation to greet people, smile at them or whatever. Even if you attend the course as a couple, you are encouraged as much as possible to stay away from each other. There are only two instances that a participant can talk: 1) questions during lectures but only to the lecturer and not to the fellow participants; 2) during the one hour group discussion.
Food and Accommodation
Vegetarian food will be served throughout the whole course. With unlimited supply of milk tea, lemon & ginger, water, typical meals would be
a) Breakfast - oat meal; home baked bread; butter and honey
b) Lunch - two vegetable dishes; rice; another carbohydrate source (e.g. grilled pumpkin, potatoes); salad; fruits
c) Dinner - soup; home baked bread; butter and honey
and a picnic lunch at the end of the course with extra desserts and even vegetarian pizza.
For the rooms, you will be sharing it mostly with fellow retreatants. The number of people in each room would vary. You can also get a room only for you but older people or those with special needs are priority. By the way, there are a lot of monkeys all over the place. you are literally at their arms reach. They have dogs to woof them away and they have also hired people to scare them out specially when you are having your lunch outside. However, there are times they will just out of the blue snatch your fruit away from you. Just be cautious though.
Tushita runs on donation. However, a lot of participants have been asking what would be the best amount to donate so that the whole center can still run efficiently. Hence, Tushita decided to quantify their expenses for the whole course. If in case you'll get a room for yourself, you just have to pay around 7000 Indian rupees for the whole duration of the course. However, if you'll be sharing a room with the others, it will just be around 4000-5000 Indian rupees.
The Course
Buddhism can be divided into 3 aspects:
a) Psychological Aspect of Buddhism
b) Philosophical Aspect of Buddhism
c) Religious Aspect of Buddhism
Buddhism for me is actually a way of life on how you 'conquer' yourself through understanding your mind and the 'truths' about our existence. And with this, the course itself focuses mostly on the first two aspects of Buddhism. It discusses about the mind, causes of suffering, meditations, enlightenment, compassion, karma, and a little about the religious aspect.
Typical daily schedule is:
0645 - Meditation
0730 - Breakfast
0900 - Lecture
1200 - Lunch
1300 - Karma Yoga Jobs (assigned daily task like dish washing)
0200 - Group discussion
0300 - Lecture
0530 - Meditation
0630 - Dinner
0730 - Meditation
For more information, Tushita has an extensive FAQ page on their site. Click here to read.
As a conclusion, the course itself for me is totally worth it. I have found an answer to one of the life questions that I have been trying to figure out (to be blogged soon). The course provided reaffirmations to most of my beliefs. Though i still have to reconcile a few. And that is also what makes Buddhism interesting. You are encouraged to scrutinize the philosophy and not take it on blind faith. As the Buddha would say,
"Do not accept any words on faith,
Believing them just because I said them.
Be like an analyst buying gold, who cuts, burns,
And critically examines his product for authenticity.
Only accept what passes the test
By proving useful and beneficial in your life."
For most of the participants, they said it is really 'life changing'. For those who are on a crossroad, or in a difficult stage of moving on, or simply trying find his/her happiness, then I would highly recommend this course.
Namaste.
Once there was a dying king who asked all of his servants to come with him at the kingdom's treasure room filled with gold, jewelries and precious stones. The king told all of the servants to take all they need. As expected, all the servants scrambled and gathered all they can take, putting them in their pockets, their bags, and to whichever they can use to carry the treasure.
When the king requested all the servants to finish up and leave the room, the king noticed one servant who did not carry anything. The king then asked, "Why have you not taken even a single gold coin?". The lowly servant then answered, "My lord. In all my life I have wanted to be rich, to be better than others. Yet, as each day passes by, it seems that even if I am one gold coin richer than yesterday, I am still not satisfied. Even if I will take all the treasures in this room, I will always still yearn for more. That is not what I need for my soul seeks only NOTHING.
Surprised by the wisdom his servant has bestowed, the king declared him the new king.
Namaste.
This ship was built by a 4-member crew funded by a generous king. Though the crew was inexperienced, he trusted and believed in their capacity. The king wanted this ship to carry paying passengers from one kingdom to the other. Like normal businesses, he understood that it would take at least two to three years to get his investment back.
Competition was tough. On the first year, this ship only earned less than a fraction of the tenth of the gold that was poured in. But slowly, passengers began to take notice of the ship and competitors even started to feel threatened by its presence. With hard work, perseverance, and impressive team work by the 4-member crew, on the second year, its earnings grew more than forty times than the previous year. Old passengers become loyal customers, with the increasing numbers of the new ones. And as its third year begins, the crew is more confident that they will be able to pass the point beyond break-even, hoping that when the year closes, the crew would be able to prove to their king that his trust has not gone to waste.
But like all good stories, there are challenges along the way, including the one that this ship has been subjected now. As it sails in the middle of the Pacific ocean, its fuel leaked even with the daily checks done by the crew, leaving the ship floating with an empty tank. Passengers are in with obligations and commitments compromised and delayed due to the current predicament – threatening that they should be compensated from the damages. A storm is imminent yet the captain is unable to maneuver the ship, the crew, and its passengers far from harm’s way.
From his castle, the king was made aware. He wants to rescue the ship yet, he does not have enough money to buy and send the fuel. He has properties and businesses in his kingdom, yet it seems that he has to give up one in order to buy the fuel. But, it looks like the king is indecisive of letting go of one of his properties or businesses. He sought help from other kingdoms but futile. He relies on a disputed pot of gold, which he has been fighting for more than six years now, still optimistic that he can get it and be able to use it for the stranded ship. Rescue is indefinite.
The captain is now frustrated. How can he run the ship without any fuel? How can you send troops to battle without ammunition? How can you expect the ship to earn and reach beyond break-even for the year if the ship is stuck in the middle of the ocean with a storm fast approaching? The crew knows that if the king sells one of his properties/businesses, they would be saved and all dreams and goals may be achieved. Yet it seems that option is not a priority of the king. The king scrambles to obtain money from other sources but always unsuccessful. He tells the crew to hang in there while waiting indefinitely for the fuel to arrive. The question is when. Should they rely on that pot of gold? But as time passes by, the king pays for delays and other damages caused. The indecision is causing more harm than good.
Food, water, hygiene, safety, these are some of the concerns in the ship. But the storm is one of the threats. A life raft is available for all, hence abandoning ship can save the whole crew and the passengers, but this means losing the ship in the storm.
What then should the captain do?
Let go, and everything will fall into place.
