Ask Not. Seek Not.

Your ego blinds you from the abundance of the Universe, resorting to greed.
Remember that you have all. Even before you asked, it has already been given. 
There is no need for you to seek for everything is within your grasp.
The door has never been closed.

-The Lost Monk

Filling the Void - The Emptiness Within

Our attractions are driven by the void that we want to fill. 

I have always wondered why I am attracted to people who are ‘malambing’ (affectionate). I wanted to know why even the slightest show of compassion would bring me to tears. At first I thought it was normal for everyone to cry when they witness even the simplest act of compassion. Yet it is not. Not all people cry while watching movies. Perhaps, that is not their void. 

Each one of us has a specific void (or voids) that we want to fill. This void even drives our decisions in life. This is the emptiness that we wanted to fill that which when it will be taken care of, it would give us the impression that we are now complete. 

A young beautiful girl brought up in the absence of a fatherly love, will be attracted to a guy who seems to project a paternal stature, even if he is not physically attractive. A boy who was born underprivileged of wealth may dedicate his whole life to get rich. A kid who has been traumatized by the death of his mother due to cancer may focus all his energy to cancer research. These are their specific voids that drive them.

We all have different voids to fill.  That would explain why sometimes we can’t just understand why the rich is not able to appreciate what they have. For others, it would seem that they are being wasteful. But wealth is not their void, which might be completely different from yours. 

However, every time someone (or something) fills that emptiness, it would seem to complete us. But we all know that nothing is permanent and everything is just fleeting. Hence, whatever that is that has filled the void, when it is disappears, that emptiness resurfaces, and the cycle begins again. Most of the time, the process of ‘hollowing’ leads to suffering which will only end when we think the void is filled one more time. We become trapped in the cycle, often frustrated on why it is happening all over again. How would you cut the cycle then?

I am the eldest in the family. My sister was born when I was six. The next one followed after a year. At seven, my parents started to teach me the meaning of hard work and responsibility. We are not well off. We have just enough to survive. At a young age, I learned to ride the tartanilla all alone going to Tabo-an to buy stuff for the family. At eight, without any company, I have taken the jeepney towards Colon and vice versa. I started doing business when I was in first grade. I have been selling candies and chips to my classmates, teachers, and neighbors. I have roamed the streets to sell my handmade lanterns. All these, I have experienced doing at a very young age while still taking part of our household chores, from doing laundry by hand, fetching water from a nearby well, and of course taking care of my younger siblings. I know that that this might not be too difficult compared to some people’s childhood, but in the eyes of a kid, this is still hard work. Am I complaining? Definitely not. In fact, I am very much grateful with my parents for teaching me the ways. At least it has made me responsible now, or just maybe a bit.

In my eagerness to be a responsible brother, and in my willingness to suffer for my family, perhaps I have forgotten about myself and that my subconscious has been longing for that affection too. This is my void. Please bear with me. I am not trying to prove that I am an ideal brother. I too have my own shortcomings as a brother and as a son. I just want to pinpoint the void which I have recognized recently that I have been wanting to fill and been filling ever since. Like I have said, I am trapped in this cycle too. 

But then I realized, that there was indeed no void at all. Perhaps, I was too focused of my role, that I have failed to notice that my parents, my sisters, my family, friends, and the Universe have shown me the affection and the love that I have been wanting. Perhaps, I was too blind to see. And that is, I guess, how we can end the cycle, the trap of trying to continuously fill the void which does not exist. 

When we recognize the void within, do not run away from it. Face it. Acknowledge it. Understand where is it coming from and you will be able to learn that the your void is just only an illusion. Then the cliché that says ‘You complete me’, will no longer hold true, for you have always been whole. 

‘There will be no suffering in letting go if we remember that we are completely whole all along.’

Namaste.

Are You a Real Super Hero?

You can't help it but shed tears when you see Yolanda's aftermath in the eastern islands of the Philippines, specifically, the areas and neighboring cities of Tacloban, Leyte. The strongest typhoon recorded in history, hits the Philippines, leaving deaths, and destruction. Describing it as heartbreaking is even an understatement. 

Filipinos as we are, known for our resilience and Bayanihan spirit, we become more united in the midst of these calamities. Out of compassion and volunteerism, we then organize ourselves to reach out to our brethren. Even though the various agencies of the Philippine government have been mobilized, we still think that we can do more. Non-profit organizations, various student councils, OFWs, individuals, and even prisoners, take time and effort to provide any form of support, whether it is monetary, in kind, or service. The support and camaraderie is extremely outstanding.  

However, we can't ignore the fact that there are still people who take advantage of this, probably because of political ambitions, profiteering, or simply just ego tripping. 'Donated by so and so' or 'through the efforts of', may come out from time to time but I salute those who reached out without seeking any recognition or anything in return. These people are the Real Super Heroes. These are regular people whom you see  walking on the streets, sitting right next to your office cubicle, eating in the same restaurant, commuting on public vehicles.  But when disasters strike, their humanity activated, rushing in aid even to the point of sacrificing themselves. And when peace is regained, they go on with their lives, happy and contented that they were able to reach out and touch a soul in one way or another. 

Are you a Real Super Hero?

Namaste.

Finding Your Purpose

In the vastness of space, and as a tiny, little speck in this universe, there are times that we can't help but wonder and ask ourselves, ‘What is the meaning of life?’, ‘Why are we here?’, ‘What is my purpose?’. For some, maybe they have already found the answers. For a few, they  ignore the question and just go on with their lives. And perhaps, for most of us, we will just die wondering, yet we try our best to live a life, hopefully with no regrets.

When you were still a child, do you still remember that dream, the person you wanted to be, or the things that you really love to do? Perhaps, you wanted to be a doctor, or like playing the guitar. Maybe you were that kid who loves pets and adores them so much. That was you. The real you.

Before we were born, our soul already knows what it wants to be. It has already chosen a type of life that it wants to live. And the innate characteristics of the being that it wants to experience in this physical reality has been predetermined according to its own choosing. And as it enters into this realm, it is in that moment of physical birth that the untainted nature of the soul exists. However, as it grows, its innocence is slowly tainted by the society that nurtures it. A society that is driven by ego and drowned by its fears. Yet, the soul still chooses to be born in these conditions, for it finds joy in the experience of remembering. However, along the way, as we seek to remember, we become lost. We are so engrossed with what the society wants in us and from us, and that we have forgotten what our soul intended itself to be.

When you were a toddler, it was evident that you were fond of pencils and crayons, but your parents sent you to music school since they want you to be a master pianist. Perhaps, you had a soft heart for old people and taking care of them gives you immense joy but society does not pay you well for it and you were forced to choose another path to earn a living. 

This is where our struggle begins.

Day by day, we become unhappy, and unsatisfied. We always find ourselves complaining because we try to live a life that is dictated by the world outside. It is not a life that we want. But if joy is your aim, reach out to that child within. Hear its whisper. It is there. Realign yourself to your soul’s innermost desire by finding peace, for it is in this moment of stillness that your heart, mind, and soul become one. And when you are in that moment, you will be reawakened, and your purpose remembered. 

Live. Love. Laugh. Let Go.

Namaste.

Be Still

Dreams. That is how my inner consciousness speaks. 

There have been several instances now that I have been dreaming about death. Sometimes, I walk around a graveyard seeing my own tombstone. Last night, I dreamt that my family was taken by the rapture and I was left alone. 

I know my visions. And I know that this is not about someone dying soon. It’s my separation anxiety manifesting. I am about to set foot on a strange land, meeting new people, immersing into another culture. It is an adventure, a new chapter that has long been destined to be written. My soul has already laid out the ground work before its rebirth into this existence that is why everything is falling into place, perfectly. Yet, it seems that my feet are getting cold. Is this fear of the unknown? If this fear indeed exists in me, does this mean that I have doubts with what my soul has prepared for? Perhaps. 

Perhaps I need a little more of ‘remembering’. 

Even before I was conceived, the players have already been selected, the stage has already been set, and the outcome has already been decided. And this is never against anyone’s free will for it is of my soul’s choosing. Though you know how it would end, it is the journey towards your destiny that gives life its sense of adventure. 
But I have forgotten. 

I have been so focused with the physical reality and that the ‘memories’ of my soul’s purpose is left into the oblivion. Thus my fears. Yet it is in the mindful awareness of self, of my being, that allows me to gradually ‘recover’ the lost memories, and slowly realigning my mind, my heart, my soul and my consciousness so that I may be able to fully ‘re-member’.

Be still my child. Trust. Everything will be perfectly alright.

Namaste.

678

It was during my call center days when I wished myself to be successful (as if everyone does not wish to become one). How did I define success? To be rich. I guess that would be the most common indicator of one's success, but, that meaning has evolved as years passed, at least for me.

I needed a sign to know that I am on the right track to my success. So I decided to choose which sign should it be. I told myself, if I will see the series '678' on a plate number, then that would mean Im on the right track. From then on, I started to take notice of car plate numbers when I'm in a public transpo looking outside the window at the cars passing by or even when just strolling the streets of my hometown. Years gone by, but no signs at all. Then, 2007, I left for Dubai.

With no friends and family connections, I braved the desert sands of the UAE. Within a month of randomly dropping CVs in offices, emailing, faxing, and endless sign ups with jobsites, fortunately, I got a job, which I think has greatly influenced (and still influencing) the direction of my life. It was then that I started to see 678 on car plates all over Dubai. The first 678 that I saw was in a parking lot. While I was walking towards our office, I felt that I would be seeing the series. It was fascinating because the feeling was so strong that it seems that I can feel its presence, which I did see.

Since then, I have been seeing the number randomly all over the place but not so often until I was transferred to our sister company. The number's appearance is becoming frequent. Maybe it is because of the nature of my job that I am mostly on the road to meet clients. That could be the reason, yet it encourages me and excites me in a way. Sometimes, it makes me think though that I am just making this up, and that it is just a way convincing myself that I am on the right track. Well, I could always ignore it but I just choose to believe it. It works for me.

The sign is getting intense. It has shown itself not only in car plates but in other forms including mobile numbers. Too intense, that it has manifested on my passport number and my recent job contract for the same company which I will be working with in PA. Yesterday, when my boss's wife picked us up at State College airport, right after she drove out from the compound, in front of us was a car bearing the series 678. Perhaps, it is welcoming me to the new chapter of my life.

"Choose to believe in whatever you think would work for you."

Namaste.

The Greatest Gift to the Dying

“Allan! Dreamt of you last night. You were reading a passage in the Bible. I was listening and it feels like God has given me a message for you so that you may revive your faith in Him and that you may reunite with God once again.”

A close friend of mine called up and told me of her dream. It was interesting since she knew for a fact that I am not a religious Catholic. My belief in God is far different from what most people believe in.  I am not saying that my faith is better. I could even end up stoned to death if we are still in the middle ages. 

Her dream was surprising for me since I have never been in a situation wherein I voluntarily shared passages in the Bible in a group. Emphasis on the word ‘voluntarily’ since I was schooled in several Catholic institutions where Bible sharing was sometimes mandatory. She reiterated that the message was for me, yet I still can’t imagine myself doing it, much more in a specific church. I have great respect with the Bible for it contains wisdom from the greatest teachers who have lived. I just don’t share the same views with those who believed that their interpretation is the truth and the only truth. 

I told her that if God wanted to send me a message, definitely it will not come through other people’s dreams but directly to me. Trust me, I dream a lot.  The dream was intended for her, that is what I said. We talked for a while about it but when she hanged up, I was still a bit bothered because I know there was an important message for her. So I sent her a message on whatsapp:

“Regarding your dream, I think there was an important message that was needed to be relayed to you that night. I was there not because the message was for me. I was in your dream because of how you see me as a person. If in real life, you look at me as someone whom you can trust and get advice from, then I was in your dreams to give you that. If in real life you value the Words of God, then those Words we have shared during the Bible study has some significance in your life. If you can, try to remember those words, it will help you in whatever challenges or opportunities that you are encountering now. The Universe speaks to you in dreams through symbols that only you can understand. If you are afraid of snakes, then snakes will be a symbol of fear in your dreams. If I am not afraid of snakes but believe that they symbolize change, then that would be the meaning in my dream. Hence, take note of your feelings towards these objects, people, events, words in your dream, it will provide you the real meaning. Remember that the Universe is forever on our side, and will never go against us. So It will do whatever It can to aid you. It will speak to you in different forms, your dreams included.”

This was our conversation a month before her chemotherapy. She was diagnosed few months back with a lump on her uterus. Doctors said it was nothing serious. She was scheduled for operation but was postponed several times due to complications. It was only lately that doctors realized that it was already cancer and chemotherapy has to be administered. Yet she was still as optimistic as she usually is. She still even attended my birthday celebration two weeks before her first session, and still a young, happy, warm soul. 

After her first chemotherapy session, her body wasn’t able to take it. She went into coma. According to the doctors, the cancer cells have already spread throughout the liver and the lungs and that her body will not be able to last for long. She was already on life support but the doctors told her mom and sister, who are attending her, that if they are ‘believers’, miracles can still happen. 

Hearing about the news, my friends and I went to visit her at the ICU. She was lying and was on a respirator. You can hear the beeping sound from ECG machine. I held her hand spoke to her. When we were about to leave the room, I told her that if she wants to talk, she knows how to get in touch with me. 

And on the same night, she visited me in my dream. I was standing right next to her hospital bed. Her body still lying down. But there was another sight of her approaching the bed from the door. Perhaps, it was her soul. She was dressed in red gown with her long hair straightened. She was brushing it with her fingers while telling me that she has been wanting it to be straight. Standing with me was her sister. She was telling her sister not to worry since she is loved by many. She added, she has to leave now and rest and assured that she will be back but not soon. She then left a day and a number, ‘Saturday, 343’. She never mentioned what the day and the number is for, yet I was thinking that it might be a date of her passing. 

Two days after, I had a dream of her again. She jokingly said to me that I had given her a deadline. I told her that it was her who gave me a day and a number. Last time she was decided to go but she seems confused now whether she is ready to leave.

A day has passed and had another dream. This time, she looks tired and weak. We were sitting side by side and her head leaning on my left shoulder while my arm trying to wrap her with a blanket. No conversations were made. It felt like she was resting and waiting for something. 

Right after the third dream I felt the need to talk to her mom and sister who were watching over her in the hospital. I told them about my dreams and even provided a disclaimer to note that these are just dreams and we don’t know if they are for real. Yet, deep inside I was obliged to inform them.

‘What is your take on this?’, I asked. I have told them that last time she has already fully decided to let go but now she is worried and confused, and still wants to hold on. Her sister seems to have accepted the fact already that she might leave soon but remains hopeful. However, her mom is not. Even when I left the hospital her mom said to me, ‘Please tell her not to leave now.’

I figured that was what is keeping my friend to hold on. She was worried about leaving her family behind. She was worried about her mom. I truly understand why it is difficult for her mom to let go of her. In a normal cycle of life, it is the parents who will transcend first before any of their children. Hence it is painful to see their child pass away before them. How much more if it is too sudden. 

The next day after I have spoken to them, my friend was declared critical. Visitors were no longer allowed. Perhaps, she was just waiting for me to deliver the message. She then transcended a week after. It was not a Saturday, nor at 343. 

“The greatest gift that you can give to a dying person is to let them go. “

Namaste. 

PS. Friend, you have been touching lives more than you have ever known. Definitely, you will be missed. Until we meet again, friend. 

The Heart of Peace

It is not the heart that breaks for it is only full of love.
It is the ego that crumbles. And when it picks 'itself' up, it seeks revenge.
That is not love for the heart only knows peace. 

-The Lost Monk

The Spark of Love

It takes a spark to fall in love yet it takes a choice to keep that fire burning. 

-The Lost Monk

Life After Life.

Have you ever wondered why you never die in your dreams?
That is the TRUTH. There is no death.
Only life, after life, after life.

-The Lost Monk

Live. Love. Laugh. Let Go.

live but never be attached to life.
love but never be afraid to love more.
laugh but always acknowledge the reality of pain.
let go and your suffering will cease to exist.

-The Lost Monk

Lima of Chandra

and thy name has beeng given, Lima of Chandra

-The Lost Monk

The Journey is Within

No matter which path you take, always remember that the journey is never without, but within. 

-The Lost Monk

Be The Flow

Let Go. Be with the Flow. Be the Flow.

-The Lost Monk

For My Journey Could Be Yours

You Are Who You Think You Are

He who denies the existence of the Gods denies his own existence. 

-The Lost Monk

Know Thyself

Know thyself and ye shall know the Universe and the gods. 

Either Way you are Correct

No One can force you with their beliefs, nor you can with yours. For whichever path you think is right, either way you are correct. 

-The Lost Monk

Time is an Illusion

It was a bit hard for me to digest the idea that the past, present, and future coexist as one. I mean, how can yesterday be present and the future exist today? Though a lot of teachers have said that time is just an illusion, yet I still can’t grasp that idea since we are used to living in a world where people, events, and all circumstances are subject to time itself. They reiterate that we carry with us our past and future in our present moment and that the only time that exist is now.

Suddenly, I had an ‘epiphany’ allowing me now to realize why yesterday and tomorrow do not exist after all. It was easy for me to understand that tomorrow does not exist since it has not happened yet, but, yesterday? It took place and some things are ‘left’ there in that past. Yet again, the past doesn’t exist. In order for us to grasp why is this so, we need to look at things in an observer’s perspective.  Allow me to provide a sample scenario.

Let us say you are meeting your friend John tonight in a coffee shop since John will be leaving next morning for a business trip to  the Middle East. You had an awesome conversation and parted ways past 11PM. Both of you went home, slept, and John got up early for his flight. Indeed, both of you had coffee yesterday. 

Now, let us look at the same scenario through a third-person perspective who happens to be looking at both individuals from a distance, say, as far as the moon. Let us name the third person, Fred. Fred sees you having coffee with John. He sees both of you parting ways past 11PM, both slept, and John flies after. As the earth rotates, some part is slowly covered in darkness while the other is starting to have its daylight. Fred simply sees that the world is just revolving and having its so called night and day for various parts of the world. He witnesses everything that is happening in the current moment.  For him, there was no yesterday, there was no tomorrow. Everything is just happening now, and right in front of him, as if a car just passes by from one point to the other. Yet, in your perspective, the ‘night’ that you had coffee with John, was yesterday.

Time indeed, does not exist. We carry with us our past, and the future is also just an illusion. The only time we have is now for, in this reality, we are living in a world where the past, present, and future coexist as one.  

Namaste.

-The Lost Monk

Explore! Discover!

How can thyself discover the grandeur of the Universe when one restricts itself to what it is used to? In order to expand your Consciousness, one has to explore new horizons. 

-The Lost Monk

What is thy Essence of your Sacrifice?

It is absurd to cut a lamb's throat and offer it to the gods as if it is not from them. It serves no purpose to fast if one is doing it for your church requires. Perhaps, the Universe will smile upon you if you skip a meal to share it with victims of greed, at least you tried to keep the balance. Ask thyself, what is then the essence of your sacrifice? 

-The Lost Monk

The Perfect Way

The Perfect Way is only difficult for those who pick and choose; Do not like, do not dislike ; all will then be clear. 

- Seng Ts'an