Trust, Commitment, and Love

Even if how much we ignore the Valentines Day, we can’t deny that people will talk about it. Love! Love! Love! Since this is the love month, I guess it would be appropriate then to talk about love.

Few days ago, I had an excellent conversation with a very good friend of mine about relationships. “How do you keep a [long distance] relationship?”, I asked. I had this kind of relationship two years ago. Indeed, physical contact is important in any relationship hence distance might be a major issue to most people. So how do you keep it then?

Trust. That was the first thing that he said. You have to give your partner your complete trust, which I totally agree. This is not only true for long distance relationships [LDR] but to any relationship for that matter. “Is it alright to flirt with another even if you are currently in a relationship?”, another friend asked. “Definitely a big NO NO for me!”, I answered. Of course, I consider that as cheating especially if you are committed to each other. Told him, even if I am still dating, my focus is already devoted to my potential partner and no one else. For me, when you cheat, you are not cheating your partner but yourself. No matter how you hide the truth from other people, your guilt will always haunt you forever.

They say, you should have a strong will power to resist temptation. However, resistance would only signify that you are entertaining the thought of cheating. If I throw bundles of hundred dollar bills in front of you, and you definitely know that is not even yours, will there any be resistance if you don’t care about the money at all? Resistance only occurs when there is a pull towards something wherein a part of you doesn't want to do it. It is a struggle within. Yet, if in the beginning, your intention is already pure, your heart, mind, and soul are already aligned with each other. Hence, there will be no conflict within and resistance ceases to exist. [Well, deciding to take the money even if it’s not yours because there was no resistance, then it’s another story. LOL. ]

Communication. That was the second point that he raised. The main culprit in any misunderstanding is the lack of communication. Our mind plays a lot of games with us. It has its own dirty tricks and our thoughts torture us a lot even if they were only illusions. Paranoia sets in. However, when you are open and honest to your partner, everything will be clear. There will no longer be misunderstandings. Even if you differ in opinions, accept the individuality. Feel free to always share your thoughts and feelings creatively, and not destructively. Open up. Happiness is best when shared, while pain will surely be lighter when someone helps you along the healing process.

Love. I guess, this is pretty obvious. This should always be present in every relationship. I was once asked, “How is straight love different from gay love?”, “Is straight love better?”. This might already be a cliché, but love indeed transcends gender, race, age, and species. There is no such thing as better love or worst love for love IS LOVE.  Love in its purest form can never be called by any other name, only LOVE.

Happy Valentines Day everyone. Keep Loving! 

Namaste.