This might not come as a surprise to other people especially to some friends, but yes. You read it right. I am gay.
It has been years now since I came out. But it took me time to accept myself for the society considers homosexuality as somewhat like a defect, or an illness that needs to be cured. Though there has already been wide acceptance about the said sexuality, we still can not deny that our world considers lesbians and gays as inferior to some extent and that even parents would always wish to have a ‘normal’ child.
I have known myself to be attracted to the same sex even when I was in my pre-kindergarten days. However, my fear of rejection forces me to suppress my own nature. The society expects me to be romantically involved only with the opposite gender. Thus, I have to fool myself of my true identity.
However, no matter how I try to keep it inside, my real self always find its way to re-surface. And then I asked myself, why do I have to hold it back when I am not even happy of what I am doing? Am I doing it because I wanted to please the people around me and that they wouldn’t be disappointed to know that I am gay? Like I said, I was afraid of rejection. But another interesting question emerged, why are they going to reject me? The answer is simple. Being gay is inferior and abnormal. At least that is how I was brought up to believe by our society.
What makes it inferior? I really don’t have any clue why it is considered that way since all of us are the same. Is it because being gay is not normal and that there are things the homosexual people do which are completely different from what our society dictates? Most people will probably argue that that homosexual acts [e.g. sexual intercourse with same gender] are not natural but we can even find it in evident in the animal kingdom, as stated in one research:
“No species has been found in which homosexual behaviour has not been shown to exist, with the exception of species that never have sex at all, such as sea urchins and aphis. Moreover, a part of the animal kingdom is hermaphroditic, truly bisexual. For them, homosexuality is not an issue.” [http://www.news-medical.net/news/2006/10/23/20718.aspx]
A docudrama, Prayers for Bobby, reiterates the ignorance of parents [society in general] in educating oneself about the truth of homosexuality. As portrayed in the film, the society condemns the person and not the acts. Haven’t you noticed this, there are instances when people idolized a certain personality and when they later realized that the person is a gay, it completely changes their view about the individual, and most often, it disappoints them to certain degree? We immediately tend to associate homosexuality with filth, perhaps with AIDS. Yet, even the disease itself is not exclusive to homosexuals but to heterosexuals as well.
Perhaps, the root causes of the discrimination are the labels we put on ourselves. And since, homosexuality deviates from the norms, then we label it as inferior.
I wonder why we are so particular with labels. What does it make us if we graduated PhD from Harvard or lived in the tallest building in the world? Would you be completely different if you wear a Louis Vuitton or drive a Ferrari? But when you are labelled as gay, it disappoints most people and to some extent, makes them furious. Then again, it all boils down to our ego. Surely a lot of people would strive to be the best so they would stand out, but when they fail, they are shattered.
Indeed, Ego, the root of all suffering, leads to labels, and labels to discrimination. Discrimination separates us causing us to forget that we are all one and the same.
And as I convince myself that these things are just merely labels and whatever the society calls it to be, it should not affect our true divinity within. Thus let me say it again one more time: Yes I am Gay.
Namaste.
I like it Allan :) kudos!
ReplyDeleteug tagay?! hahahaha
hahaha. pohon, tagay nasab sunod. heheeh
ReplyDeleteThe most important thing is you know who you are...I applaud your honesty, not only to society, but most especially, to yourself. I am proud to say I have one more gay friend added to my circle!
ReplyDeletethanks tetet-san! :)
ReplyDeletea reader, myboo_, sent this to me, thus im posting it here. thanks bai! :)
ReplyDelete----
to add more onto it...
just because you are a man, and she is a woman..society puts you in a box.. it is expected by society that if you are a man, you have to act like one, feel like one, talk like one and desire like one.. and because she is a woman, she is expected to do the same.. since we are gays, we are deviants from the standards, ideas, and concepts of the dichotomy, the male and the female, hence, we became a taboo to society. We cannot blame them for these mindsets are set as old as time. However, we have to be true to ourselves and we have the right to assert ourselves that we are not nobodies walking around flamboyantly, but, just like them, we are but humans... the lack of assertion to act our rights and by practicing what has been a "taboo" (our sexuality) have led us to our downfall. Indeed, some of our brothers have been swimming around in the black hole, for they have not stood up and lived up to who they are...they have been put down to the muds where society thinks we belong... hence, the discrimination. They are always the meat of other peoples laughter especially when they strut themselves on the streets... and by the mere fact that the person is gay, society has added up labels to it...not only labels , but has also degraded our sense of worth and value as human beings, a clear picture of how society has deemed gays to be immoral, etc... and thus discrimination at most of places elsewhere...this has not been understood by most of men in general but i want to thrust this forward that: discrimination constitutes a violation of human rights. If the "normals" cant accept defeat, because for some reasons we are and can be better than them, their egos which are as high as Eiffel tower are shook and to some collapsed in our midst, going down, bottom, and below... Haven't they realized that it takes a tough man to be bottom? :) Shame on them..furthermore there are some questions i want to give importance.. Are we less human because we are gay? And should we lift the "normals" our god (because they feel way above us reaching the clouds)? LOL! I dont even want to think about it..to such are only thoughts of a fickle minded individual...he must get some life... :)
-carpe diem..:)