How to Fail in Business

There are times that we are so overwhelmed with all those new business ideas. It could be a unique service or an awesome product that we believe so much in its potential that we become blinded by the immense feeling of excitement to the point that we fail to be practical and logical when trying to materialize that idea. Without proper planning and study, that business is definitely destined to fail.

We could always have an optimistic heading for this blog (e.g. “How to Win in Business”), but I figured, I have not succeeded in any business yet. So I guess, it can be appropriately titled as such. Based on experience and observation, here is a list of why I think (start-up) business fails.

1. Diving in Without a (Business) Plan
Definitely you need a plan on how to implement and grow your business. In order for you to have a sound plan, you should be able to know your market first. A good feasibility study will allow you to look at different angles of your business preparing you for challenges you will be facing head on. Running a business without a plan is like sailing a ship heading to nowhere.

2. Starting Up for All the Wrong Reasons
If your main reason is just to get off the rat race, or make a lot of money and just wanting to be rich, then your motivation will not really help you last that long. I am not saying that wanting to earn money is a wrong reason, it is just that you are far better off when you do something which you are really passionate about. Doing something for money becomes work but if you do it out of love and passion, it becomes enjoyable. Passion will also allow your business to survive in times of struggles. When you are passionate with what you do, you won’t easily fall into the “ningas kugon“ trap – a Filipino term of starting things enthusiastically then quickly losing the enthusiasm soon after.

3. Setting Aside Zero Financial Buffer
When you start up a business, you should expect that you won’t be having profit in the early stages. It would even take at least 2 – 3 years to reach break even. So be sure to have enough money to let the business survive even if you are just running a service company. You may not need raw materials or products to purchase or sell but you still have some administrative expenses to shoulder.

4. Mixing Business Income/Expenses with Personal Expenditures
When your business profit is used to pay for your personal expenditures, then your business is doomed. Instead of letting the income roll over and re-investing it so that your business will grow, using your profit to settle your mortgage, fill your fridge, or sustain your lifestyle will quickly shorten the lifespan of your venture. The solution? Give yourself a salary and use that. Never make your business’s income personal.

5. Never Asking for Professional Help
You might be good at baking but you don’t know how to market your cake. Let’s face it, we need other people with experience and expertise to help us in other aspects so that the business will succeed. We would think that hiring professionals is costly. It is not. Trial and error is. That is what franchise business is also for. Though you pay royalties, you are in fact saving unnecessary costs due to your lack of experience.

6. Impulsive Decisions
You believe so much in your idea that you decide to open offices in every city without even conducting a feasibility study. You feel so sure that the product is a hit so you fill your inventory with thousands and not even considering the marketability.

7. Not Innovating
Your product may be in demand at first but consumer needs evolve. You will also be facing competitors who will do their best to create a better version of your product. A perfect example would be mobile phones. Nokia was previously a leading brand until Apple and Samsung provided a more innovative product. If you are not willing to adapt and innovate, then your business will be on the losing end.

8. Poor Marketing
According to Seth Godin, author of “Purple Cow“,

“If the company is failing, it is the fault of top-level management, and the problem is probably this: they’re running a company, not marketing a product.”

That is certainly true. And in his book, Seth emphasizes that getting the word out there, letting people know that your service or product exist is not even enough. An excellent marketing strategy goes beyond (product) presence and visibility. It should create the demand.

So for the aspiring entrepreneurs, may this list guide us and hopefully turn things around as we share our own insights on “How to Win in Business”.


Namaste.

Love is a Conscious Choice

(Note: This is my speech at my sister's wedding.)

Love transcends gender, race, and even species. That was what our late mother has told us. And definitely today, we are celebrating that love, through the union of Marlon and Arielle. 

Some people would say that marriage is just a piece of paper, but I think it is more than that. It takes commitment, it takes acceptance, it takes responsibilities, it takes patience, it takes forgiveness, and of course most of all, it takes love. Because there is no commitment if there is no love. There is no acceptance if there is no love. 

Yet, love is a choice. 

Maybe you would argue that there are times that we cannot dictate our heart as to whom it should love but I think that only happens in movies. Yes, we may fall head over feet with someone. We go crazy for them, our decisions become illogical to the point that our families and friends will even label us as pathetic. Indeed, sometimes, we are blinded by that overwhelming feeling, but I think there is nothing wrong with that. Perhaps, we are just experiencing what they call as unconditional love wherein even with our partner’s darkest faults, we still love them. 

Unfortunately, that feeling of love slowly dissipates. As you grow older together, as you stay together longer, slowly you begin to see things that you don’t like with your partner. Dislikes, perhaps, would accumulate and become hatred, then maybe regrets. However, that only happens when we no longer choose to love, because love is a conscious choice. It takes a spark to fall in love, but it takes a choice to keep that fire burning. For the new Mr. and Mrs. Narisma, may you never get tired of choosing to love one another! Cheers to the newly wed! 

Namaste. 

Grasping the Idea of a Beginning - less Time

There was one question that didn’t make it to my list of life's Q&A. I once compiled a few questions which relate to life in general (to read it, click here). Sometimes, even my friends keep on telling me that I am too serious and should stop searching for answers because it might just be distracting me from enjoying life itself. (Un)fortunately, that is my personality. I always try to find the answers to life's mysteries which hopefully will satisfy my curious mind. It seems to help me though in understanding more of our purpose and the reason of our existence, and in turn allows me to live my life to the fullest. I hope.

The question is,

"What created the Universe? What started everything?"

Perhaps, you have asked this question too, and I am not sure if you have found the answer. If you did, please do share your thoughts. Or maybe, you are already contented of not knowing it at all and accepted the fact that the beginning of everything is and will always be a mystery. However, with how my thought process works, I am still not contented with not being able to find the answer. 

Though I have already written my insights  about the origin through the Alternative Story of Creation blog, it is still difficult for me to grasp the idea of a beginning-less time, until I had to sit down and meditate on 'existence' during our Introduction to Buddhism course at Tushita. Perhaps it was an epiphany for me but it is still not easy to explain it in words on how I was able to find "peace" in the answer. Nevertheless, I will try to explain. 

In order for me to understand the concept of a beginning-less time, I have to learn first the reason why things exist. Things are created or will begin to exist because of what Buddhists call Pratītyasamutpāda, commonly translated as 'Dependent Arising'. This means that all things arise in dependence upon multiple causes and conditions. There are three levels of dependent arising:

a) Dependence on causes and conditions: For example, a tropical  storm begins to form because of the area's condition – low pressure area.
b) Dependence on parts: A car becomes a car because of the parts the comprise it. If you dismantle all its components, will you still call it a car?
c) Dependence on conceptual designation/imputation. A t-shirt on its own side is not a t-shirt. It's just a piece of textile. It only becomes a t-shirt when we apply the label and the concept of the t-shirt of which to clothe ones body. 

Knowing these allows me to realize that nothing exists that is not dependent of anything. Therefore, things exist because of interdependence. Dependent arising allows creation to happen. Without dependent arising, nothing is created, nothing will exist. 

Even in our thoughts we create illusions which usually lead us to suffering. Imagine a Lamborghini car. We build our concept/projection around it that having a Lamborghini makes us a better individual. It bloats our ego. We feel we are above the rest when we are owning it. And if we are not able to have it, or somehow lost it, we tend to "suffer". These are mental projections that are not real. That are not intrinsic properties of the car. However, the car remains a car used to move people and things around. The car exists because of a) the combination of parts that make up the car; b) by the conditions that allow it to exist; c) by the imputation or designation of purpose. Yet, if we take the dependents that arise, the car will no longer exist. 

However, before dependents arise, there is that "pureness" that "suchness" that is there, that which is clear and knowing. This is very tricky now since even the words "clear" and "knowing" may become words "created" that which describes that "pureness" that is beyond dependent arising. Let us put it an analogy. This might not be a perfect analogy, but I think it might be a close one.

Imagine a canvass. Once you begin painting on the canvass, you are actually starting to create. The colors, the shades, then begin to "exist". Yet, the canvass is always there. That is the "pureness" that "suchness" before any existence.

You can also visualize a blue sky. It is there. It is pure. No labels. But imagine clouds forming out from that blue sky when we start using labels. We'll try to label a cloud "Happiness". Yet "Happiness" will only exist if there is "Sadness", so there should be another cloud labelled "Sadness". Just like a perceiver, it only exists when there is something perceived.  "Happiness" only exists when there is "Sadness". They exist because they are interdependent. Yet, these clouds are not the blue sky. Yet we know that there is that "suchness" which is not the "feeling", the "emotions", the "happiness", the "sadness". It is the blue sky. It is that canvass. That "suchness" is what Buddhists call the "emptiness" – this is the "formless", the "pureness", empty of existence. And because that "emptiness" does not exist, then it has not been created, therefore it is beginning – less.

I am not really sure if I have explained this well, but I am able to find peace and contentment in this answer. I just hope that you'll find your answer too. 

"Whatever beliefs you have for yourself, if it works for you, then choose it."

Namaste. 

My Journey to Jedi School - The Tushita Experience.

It was past midnight when Air India Express flight IX92 bound for Amritsar Airport (ATQ:  Sri Guru Ram Das Jee International Airport) was about to take off when a passenger at the back of my seat screamed which sounded like a pre-cursor to a suicide bombing. Too much terrorist movies for me I guess but it totally scared the hell out of me. Even the person next to me freaked out a bit. I asked my seat mate to tell me what was the guy saying, he said it was sort of like 'To God be the glory' kinda stuff. Maybe that was his way of wishing everyone to have a safe flight. When the the plane landed at at around 4AM, the same guy shouted again and the whole plane answered in unison. Perhaps thankful that we arrived in one piece. 

Vipul was the  driver who picked me up at the airport. I think he is in his late twenties, married with no kids. He has been living in Dharamsala since birth. He works for the travel agency I've hired for the the trip. He has been picking up tourists/clients all over India. 

It was still dark when we left the airport. It was a 6-hour trip contrary to what I have been told which is for only 3 hours. My balls were literally shrinking the whole trip. He drove fast against high beam headlights from the opposite traffic. I was even wondering how he can see the road as he sometimes swerves away from pot holes at 100km/hour. And that is just half way of the trip. When we were already in the mountains on our way to McLeod Ganj, the roads were very narrow at the edge of a cliff, and in fact a two way road where two cars (and sometimes trucks) can barely fit. Not to mention quick overtakes on a blind curve. I even kept on chanting my mantra of 'grant us safety o lord'. To top it all, it was raining hard. Perhaps, that was another encounter of fear yet it was definitely worth it specially when I arrived at Hotel Dev Cottage.

The room was huge and the balcony view was awesome! Since it is almost 2000 km above sea level and with lot's of (pine) trees, it was pretty cold. Good thing I brought jackets with me. I stayed for the night before heading to Tushita.

Tushita, a sister center of the Kopan Monastery in Kathmandu - Nepal, was built in 1972 to serve as a retreat center. It has been more than 3 years that I have postponed this trip due to work responsibilities. And I am very much happy that I decided to push through with it this year. 

I have never been exposed to Buddhism that much considering that I come from the Philippines, which is largely a Catholic nation. However, I recently discovered that my philosophy and beliefs in life are more or less inclined to Buddhism. Hence, the reason why I decided to get a closer look about Buddhism. 

Tushita offers several courses all over the year and one of the famous courses they have is the 10-Day Introduction to Buddhism. The course easily gets filled up so I decided to register few months early. Just to give you an overview of the course as well as the center itself, here are some tidbits of information.

The Retreat Setting
This is a silent retreat which means that all the participants are not allowed to talk to anyone even to your partner. The purpose is to focus more on yourself, that you become more introspective. This is also good since it removes your social obligation to greet people, smile at them or whatever. Even if you attend the course as a couple, you are encouraged as much as possible to stay away from each other. There are only two instances that a participant can talk: 1) questions during lectures but only to the lecturer and not to the fellow participants; 2) during the one hour group discussion.

Food and Accommodation
Vegetarian food will be served throughout the whole course. With unlimited supply of milk tea, lemon & ginger, water, typical meals would be 
a) Breakfast - oat meal; home baked bread; butter and honey
b) Lunch - two vegetable dishes; rice; another carbohydrate source (e.g. grilled pumpkin, potatoes); salad; fruits
c) Dinner - soup; home baked bread; butter and honey

and a picnic lunch at the end of the course with extra desserts and even vegetarian pizza. 

For the rooms, you will be sharing it mostly with fellow retreatants. The number of people in each room would vary. You can also get a room only for you but older people or those with special needs are priority. By the way, there are a lot of monkeys all over the place. you are literally at their arms reach. They have dogs to woof them away and they have also hired people to scare them out specially when you are having your lunch outside. However, there are times they will just out of the blue snatch your fruit away from you. Just be cautious though. 

Tushita runs on donation. However, a lot of participants have been asking what would be the best amount to donate so that the whole center can still run efficiently. Hence, Tushita decided to quantify their expenses for the whole course. If in case you'll get a room for yourself, you just have to pay around 7000 Indian rupees for the whole duration of the course. However, if you'll be sharing a room with the others, it will just be around 4000-5000 Indian rupees. 

The Course
Buddhism can be divided into 3 aspects:
a) Psychological Aspect of Buddhism
b) Philosophical Aspect of Buddhism
c) Religious Aspect of Buddhism

Buddhism for me is actually a way of life on how you 'conquer' yourself through understanding your mind and the 'truths' about our existence. And with this, the course itself focuses mostly on the first two aspects of Buddhism. It discusses about the mind, causes of suffering, meditations, enlightenment, compassion, karma, and a little about the religious aspect. 

Typical daily schedule is:
0645     - Meditation
0730     - Breakfast
0900     - Lecture
1200     - Lunch
1300     - Karma Yoga Jobs (assigned daily task like dish washing)
0200     - Group discussion
0300     - Lecture
0530     - Meditation
0630     - Dinner
0730     - Meditation

For more information, Tushita has an extensive FAQ page on their site. Click here to read.


As a conclusion, the course itself for me is totally worth it. I have found an answer to one of the life questions that I have been trying to figure out (to be blogged soon).  The course provided reaffirmations to most of my beliefs. Though i still have to reconcile a few. And that is also what makes Buddhism interesting. You are encouraged to scrutinize the philosophy and not take it on blind faith. As the Buddha would say, 

"Do not accept any words on faith,
Believing them just because I said them. 
Be like an analyst buying gold, who cuts, burns,
And critically examines his product for authenticity.
Only accept what passes the test
By proving useful and beneficial in your life."

For most of the participants, they said it is really 'life changing'. For those who are on a crossroad, or in a difficult stage of moving on, or simply trying find his/her happiness, then I would highly recommend this course. 

Namaste.

Seek NOTHING

Once there was a dying king who asked all of his servants to come with him at the kingdom's treasure room filled with gold, jewelries and precious stones. The king told all of the servants to take all they need. As expected, all the servants scrambled and gathered all they can take, putting them in their pockets, their bags, and to whichever they can use to carry the treasure. 

When the king requested all the servants to finish up and leave the room, the king noticed one servant who did not carry anything. The king then asked, "Why have you not taken even a single gold coin?". The lowly servant then answered, "My lord. In all my life I have wanted to be rich, to be better than others. Yet, as each day passes by, it seems that even if I am one gold coin richer than yesterday, I am still not satisfied. Even if I will take all the treasures in this room, I will always still yearn for more. That is not what I need for my soul seeks only NOTHING.

Surprised by the wisdom his servant has bestowed, the king declared him the new king.

Namaste. 

Captain's Log

This ship was built by a 4-member crew funded by a generous king. Though the crew was inexperienced, he trusted and believed in their capacity. The king wanted this ship to carry paying passengers from one kingdom to the other. Like normal businesses, he understood that it would take at least two to three years to get his investment back.

Competition was tough. On the first year, this ship only earned less than a fraction of the tenth of the gold that was poured in. But slowly, passengers began to take notice of the ship and competitors even started to feel threatened by its presence. With hard work, perseverance, and impressive team work by the 4-member crew, on the second year, its earnings grew more than forty times than the previous year. Old passengers become loyal customers, with the increasing numbers of the new ones. And as its third year begins, the crew is more confident that they will be able to pass the point beyond break-even, hoping that when the year closes, the crew would be able to prove to their king that his trust has not gone to waste. 

But like all good stories, there are challenges along the way, including the one that this ship has been subjected now. As it sails in the middle of the Pacific ocean, its fuel leaked even with the daily checks done by the crew, leaving the ship floating with an empty tank. Passengers are in with obligations and commitments compromised and delayed due to the current predicament – threatening that they should be compensated from the damages. A storm is imminent yet the captain is unable to maneuver the ship, the crew, and its passengers far from harm’s way. 

From his castle, the king was made aware. He wants to rescue the ship yet, he does not have enough money to buy and send the fuel. He has properties and businesses in his kingdom, yet it seems that he has to give up one in order to buy the fuel. But, it looks like the king is indecisive of letting go of one of his properties or businesses. He sought help from other kingdoms but futile. He relies on a disputed pot of gold, which he has been fighting for more than six years now, still optimistic that he can get it and be able to use it for the stranded ship. Rescue is indefinite. 

The captain is now frustrated. How can he run the ship without any fuel? How can you send troops to battle without ammunition? How can you expect the ship to earn and reach beyond break-even for the year if the ship is stuck in the middle of the ocean with a storm fast approaching? The crew knows that if the king sells one of his properties/businesses, they would be saved and all dreams and goals may be achieved. Yet it seems that option is not a priority of the king. The king scrambles to obtain money from other sources but always unsuccessful. He tells the crew to hang in there while waiting indefinitely for the fuel to arrive. The question is when. Should they rely on that pot of gold? But as time passes by, the king pays for delays and other damages caused. The indecision is causing more harm than good.

Food, water, hygiene, safety, these are some of the concerns in the ship. But the storm is one of the threats. A life raft is available for all, hence abandoning ship can save the whole crew and the passengers, but this means losing the ship in the storm. 

What then should the captain do?

Let go, and everything will fall into place.   

Ask Not. Seek Not.

Your ego blinds you from the abundance of the Universe, resorting to greed.
Remember that you have all. Even before you asked, it has already been given. 
There is no need for you to seek for everything is within your grasp.
The door has never been closed.

-The Lost Monk

Filling the Void - The Emptiness Within

Our attractions are driven by the void that we want to fill. 

I have always wondered why I am attracted to people who are ‘malambing’ (affectionate). I wanted to know why even the slightest show of compassion would bring me to tears. At first I thought it was normal for everyone to cry when they witness even the simplest act of compassion. Yet it is not. Not all people cry while watching movies. Perhaps, that is not their void. 

Each one of us has a specific void (or voids) that we want to fill. This void even drives our decisions in life. This is the emptiness that we wanted to fill that which when it will be taken care of, it would give us the impression that we are now complete. 

A young beautiful girl brought up in the absence of a fatherly love, will be attracted to a guy who seems to project a paternal stature, even if he is not physically attractive. A boy who was born underprivileged of wealth may dedicate his whole life to get rich. A kid who has been traumatized by the death of his mother due to cancer may focus all his energy to cancer research. These are their specific voids that drive them.

We all have different voids to fill.  That would explain why sometimes we can’t just understand why the rich is not able to appreciate what they have. For others, it would seem that they are being wasteful. But wealth is not their void, which might be completely different from yours. 

However, every time someone (or something) fills that emptiness, it would seem to complete us. But we all know that nothing is permanent and everything is just fleeting. Hence, whatever that is that has filled the void, when it is disappears, that emptiness resurfaces, and the cycle begins again. Most of the time, the process of ‘hollowing’ leads to suffering which will only end when we think the void is filled one more time. We become trapped in the cycle, often frustrated on why it is happening all over again. How would you cut the cycle then?

I am the eldest in the family. My sister was born when I was six. The next one followed after a year. At seven, my parents started to teach me the meaning of hard work and responsibility. We are not well off. We have just enough to survive. At a young age, I learned to ride the tartanilla all alone going to Tabo-an to buy stuff for the family. At eight, without any company, I have taken the jeepney towards Colon and vice versa. I started doing business when I was in first grade. I have been selling candies and chips to my classmates, teachers, and neighbors. I have roamed the streets to sell my handmade lanterns. All these, I have experienced doing at a very young age while still taking part of our household chores, from doing laundry by hand, fetching water from a nearby well, and of course taking care of my younger siblings. I know that that this might not be too difficult compared to some people’s childhood, but in the eyes of a kid, this is still hard work. Am I complaining? Definitely not. In fact, I am very much grateful with my parents for teaching me the ways. At least it has made me responsible now, or just maybe a bit.

In my eagerness to be a responsible brother, and in my willingness to suffer for my family, perhaps I have forgotten about myself and that my subconscious has been longing for that affection too. This is my void. Please bear with me. I am not trying to prove that I am an ideal brother. I too have my own shortcomings as a brother and as a son. I just want to pinpoint the void which I have recognized recently that I have been wanting to fill and been filling ever since. Like I have said, I am trapped in this cycle too. 

But then I realized, that there was indeed no void at all. Perhaps, I was too focused of my role, that I have failed to notice that my parents, my sisters, my family, friends, and the Universe have shown me the affection and the love that I have been wanting. Perhaps, I was too blind to see. And that is, I guess, how we can end the cycle, the trap of trying to continuously fill the void which does not exist. 

When we recognize the void within, do not run away from it. Face it. Acknowledge it. Understand where is it coming from and you will be able to learn that the your void is just only an illusion. Then the cliché that says ‘You complete me’, will no longer hold true, for you have always been whole. 

‘There will be no suffering in letting go if we remember that we are completely whole all along.’

Namaste.

Are You a Real Super Hero?

You can't help it but shed tears when you see Yolanda's aftermath in the eastern islands of the Philippines, specifically, the areas and neighboring cities of Tacloban, Leyte. The strongest typhoon recorded in history, hits the Philippines, leaving deaths, and destruction. Describing it as heartbreaking is even an understatement. 

Filipinos as we are, known for our resilience and Bayanihan spirit, we become more united in the midst of these calamities. Out of compassion and volunteerism, we then organize ourselves to reach out to our brethren. Even though the various agencies of the Philippine government have been mobilized, we still think that we can do more. Non-profit organizations, various student councils, OFWs, individuals, and even prisoners, take time and effort to provide any form of support, whether it is monetary, in kind, or service. The support and camaraderie is extremely outstanding.  

However, we can't ignore the fact that there are still people who take advantage of this, probably because of political ambitions, profiteering, or simply just ego tripping. 'Donated by so and so' or 'through the efforts of', may come out from time to time but I salute those who reached out without seeking any recognition or anything in return. These people are the Real Super Heroes. These are regular people whom you see  walking on the streets, sitting right next to your office cubicle, eating in the same restaurant, commuting on public vehicles.  But when disasters strike, their humanity activated, rushing in aid even to the point of sacrificing themselves. And when peace is regained, they go on with their lives, happy and contented that they were able to reach out and touch a soul in one way or another. 

Are you a Real Super Hero?

Namaste.

Finding Your Purpose

In the vastness of space, and as a tiny, little speck in this universe, there are times that we can't help but wonder and ask ourselves, ‘What is the meaning of life?’, ‘Why are we here?’, ‘What is my purpose?’. For some, maybe they have already found the answers. For a few, they  ignore the question and just go on with their lives. And perhaps, for most of us, we will just die wondering, yet we try our best to live a life, hopefully with no regrets.

When you were still a child, do you still remember that dream, the person you wanted to be, or the things that you really love to do? Perhaps, you wanted to be a doctor, or like playing the guitar. Maybe you were that kid who loves pets and adores them so much. That was you. The real you.

Before we were born, our soul already knows what it wants to be. It has already chosen a type of life that it wants to live. And the innate characteristics of the being that it wants to experience in this physical reality has been predetermined according to its own choosing. And as it enters into this realm, it is in that moment of physical birth that the untainted nature of the soul exists. However, as it grows, its innocence is slowly tainted by the society that nurtures it. A society that is driven by ego and drowned by its fears. Yet, the soul still chooses to be born in these conditions, for it finds joy in the experience of remembering. However, along the way, as we seek to remember, we become lost. We are so engrossed with what the society wants in us and from us, and that we have forgotten what our soul intended itself to be.

When you were a toddler, it was evident that you were fond of pencils and crayons, but your parents sent you to music school since they want you to be a master pianist. Perhaps, you had a soft heart for old people and taking care of them gives you immense joy but society does not pay you well for it and you were forced to choose another path to earn a living. 

This is where our struggle begins.

Day by day, we become unhappy, and unsatisfied. We always find ourselves complaining because we try to live a life that is dictated by the world outside. It is not a life that we want. But if joy is your aim, reach out to that child within. Hear its whisper. It is there. Realign yourself to your soul’s innermost desire by finding peace, for it is in this moment of stillness that your heart, mind, and soul become one. And when you are in that moment, you will be reawakened, and your purpose remembered. 

Live. Love. Laugh. Let Go.

Namaste.

Be Still

Dreams. That is how my inner consciousness speaks. 

There have been several instances now that I have been dreaming about death. Sometimes, I walk around a graveyard seeing my own tombstone. Last night, I dreamt that my family was taken by the rapture and I was left alone. 

I know my visions. And I know that this is not about someone dying soon. It’s my separation anxiety manifesting. I am about to set foot on a strange land, meeting new people, immersing into another culture. It is an adventure, a new chapter that has long been destined to be written. My soul has already laid out the ground work before its rebirth into this existence that is why everything is falling into place, perfectly. Yet, it seems that my feet are getting cold. Is this fear of the unknown? If this fear indeed exists in me, does this mean that I have doubts with what my soul has prepared for? Perhaps. 

Perhaps I need a little more of ‘remembering’. 

Even before I was conceived, the players have already been selected, the stage has already been set, and the outcome has already been decided. And this is never against anyone’s free will for it is of my soul’s choosing. Though you know how it would end, it is the journey towards your destiny that gives life its sense of adventure. 
But I have forgotten. 

I have been so focused with the physical reality and that the ‘memories’ of my soul’s purpose is left into the oblivion. Thus my fears. Yet it is in the mindful awareness of self, of my being, that allows me to gradually ‘recover’ the lost memories, and slowly realigning my mind, my heart, my soul and my consciousness so that I may be able to fully ‘re-member’.

Be still my child. Trust. Everything will be perfectly alright.

Namaste.

678

It was during my call center days when I wished myself to be successful (as if everyone does not wish to become one). How did I define success? To be rich. I guess that would be the most common indicator of one's success, but, that meaning has evolved as years passed, at least for me.

I needed a sign to know that I am on the right track to my success. So I decided to choose which sign should it be. I told myself, if I will see the series '678' on a plate number, then that would mean Im on the right track. From then on, I started to take notice of car plate numbers when I'm in a public transpo looking outside the window at the cars passing by or even when just strolling the streets of my hometown. Years gone by, but no signs at all. Then, 2007, I left for Dubai.

With no friends and family connections, I braved the desert sands of the UAE. Within a month of randomly dropping CVs in offices, emailing, faxing, and endless sign ups with jobsites, fortunately, I got a job, which I think has greatly influenced (and still influencing) the direction of my life. It was then that I started to see 678 on car plates all over Dubai. The first 678 that I saw was in a parking lot. While I was walking towards our office, I felt that I would be seeing the series. It was fascinating because the feeling was so strong that it seems that I can feel its presence, which I did see.

Since then, I have been seeing the number randomly all over the place but not so often until I was transferred to our sister company. The number's appearance is becoming frequent. Maybe it is because of the nature of my job that I am mostly on the road to meet clients. That could be the reason, yet it encourages me and excites me in a way. Sometimes, it makes me think though that I am just making this up, and that it is just a way convincing myself that I am on the right track. Well, I could always ignore it but I just choose to believe it. It works for me.

The sign is getting intense. It has shown itself not only in car plates but in other forms including mobile numbers. Too intense, that it has manifested on my passport number and my recent job contract for the same company which I will be working with in PA. Yesterday, when my boss's wife picked us up at State College airport, right after she drove out from the compound, in front of us was a car bearing the series 678. Perhaps, it is welcoming me to the new chapter of my life.

"Choose to believe in whatever you think would work for you."

Namaste.

The Greatest Gift to the Dying

“Allan! Dreamt of you last night. You were reading a passage in the Bible. I was listening and it feels like God has given me a message for you so that you may revive your faith in Him and that you may reunite with God once again.”

A close friend of mine called up and told me of her dream. It was interesting since she knew for a fact that I am not a religious Catholic. My belief in God is far different from what most people believe in.  I am not saying that my faith is better. I could even end up stoned to death if we are still in the middle ages. 

Her dream was surprising for me since I have never been in a situation wherein I voluntarily shared passages in the Bible in a group. Emphasis on the word ‘voluntarily’ since I was schooled in several Catholic institutions where Bible sharing was sometimes mandatory. She reiterated that the message was for me, yet I still can’t imagine myself doing it, much more in a specific church. I have great respect with the Bible for it contains wisdom from the greatest teachers who have lived. I just don’t share the same views with those who believed that their interpretation is the truth and the only truth. 

I told her that if God wanted to send me a message, definitely it will not come through other people’s dreams but directly to me. Trust me, I dream a lot.  The dream was intended for her, that is what I said. We talked for a while about it but when she hanged up, I was still a bit bothered because I know there was an important message for her. So I sent her a message on whatsapp:

“Regarding your dream, I think there was an important message that was needed to be relayed to you that night. I was there not because the message was for me. I was in your dream because of how you see me as a person. If in real life, you look at me as someone whom you can trust and get advice from, then I was in your dreams to give you that. If in real life you value the Words of God, then those Words we have shared during the Bible study has some significance in your life. If you can, try to remember those words, it will help you in whatever challenges or opportunities that you are encountering now. The Universe speaks to you in dreams through symbols that only you can understand. If you are afraid of snakes, then snakes will be a symbol of fear in your dreams. If I am not afraid of snakes but believe that they symbolize change, then that would be the meaning in my dream. Hence, take note of your feelings towards these objects, people, events, words in your dream, it will provide you the real meaning. Remember that the Universe is forever on our side, and will never go against us. So It will do whatever It can to aid you. It will speak to you in different forms, your dreams included.”

This was our conversation a month before her chemotherapy. She was diagnosed few months back with a lump on her uterus. Doctors said it was nothing serious. She was scheduled for operation but was postponed several times due to complications. It was only lately that doctors realized that it was already cancer and chemotherapy has to be administered. Yet she was still as optimistic as she usually is. She still even attended my birthday celebration two weeks before her first session, and still a young, happy, warm soul. 

After her first chemotherapy session, her body wasn’t able to take it. She went into coma. According to the doctors, the cancer cells have already spread throughout the liver and the lungs and that her body will not be able to last for long. She was already on life support but the doctors told her mom and sister, who are attending her, that if they are ‘believers’, miracles can still happen. 

Hearing about the news, my friends and I went to visit her at the ICU. She was lying and was on a respirator. You can hear the beeping sound from ECG machine. I held her hand spoke to her. When we were about to leave the room, I told her that if she wants to talk, she knows how to get in touch with me. 

And on the same night, she visited me in my dream. I was standing right next to her hospital bed. Her body still lying down. But there was another sight of her approaching the bed from the door. Perhaps, it was her soul. She was dressed in red gown with her long hair straightened. She was brushing it with her fingers while telling me that she has been wanting it to be straight. Standing with me was her sister. She was telling her sister not to worry since she is loved by many. She added, she has to leave now and rest and assured that she will be back but not soon. She then left a day and a number, ‘Saturday, 343’. She never mentioned what the day and the number is for, yet I was thinking that it might be a date of her passing. 

Two days after, I had a dream of her again. She jokingly said to me that I had given her a deadline. I told her that it was her who gave me a day and a number. Last time she was decided to go but she seems confused now whether she is ready to leave.

A day has passed and had another dream. This time, she looks tired and weak. We were sitting side by side and her head leaning on my left shoulder while my arm trying to wrap her with a blanket. No conversations were made. It felt like she was resting and waiting for something. 

Right after the third dream I felt the need to talk to her mom and sister who were watching over her in the hospital. I told them about my dreams and even provided a disclaimer to note that these are just dreams and we don’t know if they are for real. Yet, deep inside I was obliged to inform them.

‘What is your take on this?’, I asked. I have told them that last time she has already fully decided to let go but now she is worried and confused, and still wants to hold on. Her sister seems to have accepted the fact already that she might leave soon but remains hopeful. However, her mom is not. Even when I left the hospital her mom said to me, ‘Please tell her not to leave now.’

I figured that was what is keeping my friend to hold on. She was worried about leaving her family behind. She was worried about her mom. I truly understand why it is difficult for her mom to let go of her. In a normal cycle of life, it is the parents who will transcend first before any of their children. Hence it is painful to see their child pass away before them. How much more if it is too sudden. 

The next day after I have spoken to them, my friend was declared critical. Visitors were no longer allowed. Perhaps, she was just waiting for me to deliver the message. She then transcended a week after. It was not a Saturday, nor at 343. 

“The greatest gift that you can give to a dying person is to let them go. “

Namaste. 

PS. Friend, you have been touching lives more than you have ever known. Definitely, you will be missed. Until we meet again, friend. 

The Heart of Peace

It is not the heart that breaks for it is only full of love.
It is the ego that crumbles. And when it picks 'itself' up, it seeks revenge.
That is not love for the heart only knows peace. 

-The Lost Monk